He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is the high leading the old right now
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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