what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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