I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize