My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
