her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
