He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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