Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
