Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So squirting runs in the family.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
