I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize