Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
