I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
