so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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