i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
