ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
