I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
