Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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