You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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