Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
