I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
