During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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