It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize