I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
