i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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