my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The feeling are messing with the penis
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
