The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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