Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
