im about as happy as oj after his trial
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So apparently I’m into choking now
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