I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
