Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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