i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
