I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
