she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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