Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
