Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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