Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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