bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
