i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
