your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
