if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
