Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
