Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
