Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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