im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize