Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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