plz talk dirty to me
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I need water and some morals
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
