i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
