ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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