remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
