Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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