I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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