Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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