i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
