i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
