ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
