'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
