that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm really busy with my period
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