I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
